Valentine’s Day is finally here, and while we’re not really the “romantic” type, we’re super down with celebrating love (and eating hella chocolate). In honor of the holiday, we want to take some time to shout out these historic hunky heroes who definitely have our hearts. Obviously, there have been countless Zaddy’s throughout history, and a lot of them are worth mentioning, but we’ve narrowed down the list to a lean few who have left a seriously sexy legacy. And if you haven’t heard of some of these class acts before, you’re welcome.
First on the list barely needs an introduction. This is the man behind one of the greatest rock bands to ever do the genre justice. With unmistakable hits that the entire world can sing-along to and lesser known tracks that make you drop whatever you are doing and ask whatever legend you are with, “Wait, who is this? This fuckin’ slaps.” If you are unfamiliar you should know that the boys are back and they’re hanging at Dino’s waiting to kick some arse. Thank you Phil for writing some of the greatest songs known to humankind and being an absolute badass while playing them. We miss you.
Image via rockmusicrevival.com
Second on the list definitely needs an introduction. An undeniably clutch figure in history, Vasily basically stopped a nuclear holocaust during the ominous Cold War which would’ve left us fucked nine ways to Sunday. During the Cuban Missile Crisis, Soviet submarines were detected near Cuba which prompted the US to respond with “signaling depth charges” which are a last resort when communication can’t be made before engaging in combat :(. The captain of the Soviet sub wanted to fire a nuke in response because he thought the war was well underway. As second in command, Arkhipov was able to talk this crazy fool off the ledge during what’s been called “the most dangerous moment during human history”. Arkhipov’s actions weren’t received too well by his comrades back home but the world thanks you for standing up to your captain! Cheers to Arkhipov!
Image via thegaurdian.com
French photographer and Surrealist master Claude Cahun (born Lucy Renee Mathilde Schwob) was an insanely talented and trailblazing artist. Cahun not only completely rejected traditional gender roles at a time when it was rare and seriously dangerous to do so, but they also organized Nazi resistance during WWII by stealing propoganda posters and cutting them into resistance flyers which they hid around town for soldiers to find. Subverting Nazis and gender roles while making iconic art = major badass.
Image via bbc.com
Born in San Francisco (extra points for this Bay Area native!), Bruce Lee is considered to be one of the most influential martial artists of all time. With the body of an actual god, he bridged the gap between East and West, helped change the way that Asians were presented in Hollywood, and popularized the concept of mixed martial arts in the West. Gone way too soon, this pop cultural icon definitely lives on through his films, and his larger martial arts legacy.
Image via jeremylr.medium.com
I know what you’re thinking, how could this old-ass mathematician/ astronomer make the list—he seems mad boring! Well news flash, the man literally invented zero. He also called that the Earth was round way before Copernicus, and pretty much predicted it’s exact circumference, while also providing an extremely accurate value of pi. What a beautiful mind, and beautiful chrome dome.
Image via livemint.com
Dock Ellis may seem a bit random for the list of Zaddy’s and you may have not heard of this legendary lad, but one thing is for damn sure. He threw a no hitter, something insanely hard for a baseball pitcher to do, and later casually mentioned that he was on LSD while doing so. It was no secret that Doc was drawn to a few vices, but talk about high functioning! He was also a very outspoken advocate for civil rights. In his later years he committed his life to helping others with the same issues and became a full time counselor for addicts and prisoners.
Image via post-gazette.com
Move over Thomas Crapper, there’s a new shit sheriff in town. This man is the reason you can flush down when making brown. You never hear people say “Man I gotta go take a fat Harington!” but if and when you must do the deed, you might refer to it as going to the “John”. Coincidence? Maybe! Interestingly enough, he referred to his first flushable toilet as an Ajax or a “jake”. One could also make the argument that his frilly collar inspired modern day Charmins and that his goatee could cut glass. But thank god that this Zaddy existed, or the world would be a smellier place!
Image via theconversation.com
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